Yesterday one of my friend called me saying she wants to suicide. Like every other human being, I became panic stricken and asked her what’s wrong with her life. She told me that her crush simply refused her and there is no use of living a life without him.
I told her to be strong to which she replied I can’t . I am not even able to register the truth – let alone to move on.
Situations and characters like these are very common among teenagers like us. Peer pressures, exam problems, acne issues and most importantly heart breaks. Some time it’s really hard to get over a crush or a breakup , you’re giddy with hope for the future — and it’s heartbreaking when you realize it won’t work out. Maybe your crush is seeing someone else, or you just know that getting together is impossible. It’s like heaven and hell at the same time. But letting go and moving on is essential, you can do it if you’re really determined to put your crush behind you and to move on.
Here are some steps to get over your past and to become an architect of your future :
1. Accept your feelings:
Denial would never help you in forgetting the past. You have to accept the truth and kick-start your own inspiration to move on.
2. Brace yourself for ignorance:
In a couple-driven consumer marketing society, you’re bound to come across people who wonder why you’re single, as if the ultimate goal in life is to pair up with another human being and cling to that idea as if your life depends on it. They might even imply that something is “wrong” with you if you’re single. Remember that you don’t have to defend your right for being single, just like it’s rude to attack the validity of someone’s relationship.
3. Distancing yourself:
Try to distance yourself from your object of affection. Take this opportunity to work harder on your studies, and distract yourself from your crush. Every time you’re tempted to think about him or her, open a book, take different routes to class or sit elsewhere at lunch if you have to.
4.Enjoy your freedom:
Everybody has radical little fantasies…and the chances of pairing up with someone who shares such a fantasy with equal fervor is not something to hold your breath for. Focus on friendships, be more socialized , meet new people, make friends, appreciate the absence of compromise and live your life the way you want it to be.
Use this time to step back and re-evaluate ways you can improve your own life, instead of devoting all that mental capital to your crush. You’ll find a few distracting tasks to take care of, and you’ll be bettering your own situation at the same time. Don’t make someone else responsible for your happiness. Develop your own hobbies, likes, dislikes, become yourself rather being an after-glow. Take advantage of school. If you’re already attending a school that offers extracurricular activities, get involved! Party-planning committees, service groups, or sports leagues are all possibilities
5. Moving On For Good:
Don’t just transfer your feelings to a new target. Finding a new person to attach all your feelings to is another form of relapsing — you might not be crushing on the same person, but you’re feeling the same emotions. Making someone your substitute isn’t fair to them, because you’re not seeing them for who they are, and it’s not fair to you, because you’re allowing yourself to fall back into the same cycle.
6. Avoid becoming cynical:
Last but not the least , don’t become bitter. When life tests you, it changes you into a complete different person , make sure it is the better version. Never underestimate yourself, because hard time reveals of what much you are capable of. Never mix difference of opinions and relational failures with personal flaws because self blaming is never going to reward.Don’t punish yourself to try to numb the pain. You don’t want to start overeating or hurting yourself just because your crush doesn’t like you back.
In short be an optimist, dream, have an ambitious life and never stop believing. You never know what’s lord planning for you 🙂